Many older divorced or widowed men and women are in the same boat. They feel protective of their privacy and peace of mind, but they haven't become eunuchs or hermits.
Every now and then, a familiar craving surfaces.
Enter Online Dating for Seniors
So how do you handle it? You're probably not desperate enough to stalk your neighbors, or to go looking for friends with benefits in all the wrong places bars come to mind.
But offered a chance to reconnect with someone from your past — dinner with your high school steady, for example — you might just surprise yourself by winding up in bed.
The next morning or even that night come the recriminations: Was it wrong to give that person the sexual green light when you had no intention of rekindling the emotional side of the relationship? A few weeks later, she joined him for " a wonderful weekend " in his home state. I'm in like with him — and that's exactly where I want to be.
When is it OK to become 'casually yours'?
In The Normal Bar, a book I wrote last year with Chrisanna Northrup and James Witte, we reported that 61 percent of female survey respondents who had partners fantasized about someone they had met. For men, the figure was 90 percent. And should they be propositioned by someone they found attractive, 48 percent of the women and 69 percent of the men said they would be tempted to have sex outside the relationship.
Indeed, many surrendered to that lure in actuality: It found that 6 percent to 8 percent of singles age 50 and up were dating more than one person at a time. The same study revealed 11 percent of survey respondents were in a sexual relationship that did not involve cohabitation.
What do you have to lose? Can a casual sexual relationship exact an emotional toll?
For sure, people who associate intimacy with commitment are ill-suited to sex that's as meaningful as a summer breeze; for them, the FWB arrangement would be a bad idea. That doesn't mean all casual lovers feel emotionally bereft in the wake of a purely physical rendezvous, mind you. Many say they're getting exactly what they want and need. Is that a deplorably manipulative state of affairs? Possibly — until you stop to consider how many of us are comfortable with being unpartnered but how few of us are willing to remain untouched.
Sixty-something sexologist Joan Price, for one, endorses "gray hookups," but with a couple of strong caveats: The people involved must be emotionally capable of handling their status as noncommitted bed partners, and they must protect themselves against sexually transmitted diseases. In a national study conducted inthe Center for Sexual Health Promotion found sex partners over 50 twice as likely to use a condom when they regarded a sexual encounter as casual rather than as part of an ongoing relationship.
Mature sex partners do not have the best track record when it comes to using condoms, but at least they're likelier to use them when they know very little about a partner's sexual past — or present! Personally, I think it all comes down to a very simple choice at any age: Is enduring loneliness, celibacy and extreme horniness really a better option than exchanging a few "simple gifts" between friends? But where do you start online? And why should you seek out a date on the Internet?
But first, the why … Compared in this article: When my grandfather passed away at the ripe old age of 66, my year-old grandmother lived alone for the remainder of her life — 20 more years. A widower once approached her at the cemetery there were no online dating sites back thenand she turned him down cold. As they say, 60 is the new 40 or something like that.
Life and love may not have passed you by.
With life expectancy today longer than ever, at 50 or 60 — even 70 or 80 — many single seniors have a lot of life left to live. And not surprisingly, they often long for someone to share it with. But how in the world do you get back into the dating scene?
SilverSingles.com (an affiliate of Elite Singles)
Where do you even start? Church groups and mixers for the widowed and divorced notwithstanding, many seniors find it hard to meet someone.
How many people really meet by literally bumping into a future mate at the grocery store? Put this Graphic on Your Website!
Simply copy and paste the code below to share this infographic on your site: For many, the idea of joining a dating site is overwhelming. And asking questions is, well, embarrassing! Also, note that all of these sites also have mobile apps, so you can look for love via your smartphone, too.
SilverSingles matches users by analyzing their questionnaires. Instead, its primary focus is on community and helping adults over 50 find the companionship they need.
For many, this means finding a romantic companion — but not always. Stitch places an emphasis on safety and security because seniors are often the target of scammers.
How to get started?
You can create a profile with tagged interests You can browse other profiles based on companionship preference You can meet new people for companionship, romance, or both Complete identification verification ensures safety There are 3 membership types available Organized activities are available to members The site was founded in www. But did you know that it has a section dedicated to senior dating?
And Match claims to have inspired twice as many marriages as any other dating sites. They include what you say that you like and dislikewhat you actually do e. What else you should know about Match. The site is the largest online dating community for those over Unfortunately, very little information about the site or the matching process is available until or unless you sign up.
On the bright side, OurTime does offer a free trial for those wanting to explore its features a little more. What else you should know about OurTime: Rather than a Tinder-type attraction based on looks alone, or even a profile-based choice which sometimes tells very little about a personeHarmony says it looks to science to help generate the most reliable — and successful — matches.
There may be a lot of seniors looking for love, but eHarmony says it matches you only with people who, scientifically speaking, make the cut. It offers several levels of membership — including free, basic, and premium — that start with minimal features and increase accordingly. What else you should know about eHarmony: Yes, a personality test Match: No, but you create a profile and indicate likes and dislikes Stitch: No, though you indicate companionship preferences eHarmony: Yes, a lengthy questionnaire for compatibility matching OurTime: Optional questions for profile Profile and Photo Required?
A classic sex accessory Join AARP Today — Receive access to exclusive information, benefits and discounts After all, it gets awfully lonely waiting around for "the one.