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  • Wait, is there no app simply called "Sexer"? And as these apps continue to evolve, they keep getting more specific Then Carrot Dating is the app for you. With a promotional line pulled straight out of The Godfather " Make them an offer they simply can't refuse "there's NO WAY your love life has taken a turn for the worse if you've got this on your phone.

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    The way it works is almost too gross to put down on paper. Basically, you offer any "gift" you're willing to hand out on your Carrot Dating profile, and the women will come flocking to you, basking in your rays of materialism as they beg for a date so that you hand over your gift.

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    According to the site, if you dangle the right carrot, you can get any woman you want! You know, until someone comes along with a bigger carrot, because you searched for women on a gold-digging app in the first place. Carrot Dating "Exchanging goods for sex? How has no one thought of this before!?!

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    Let's face it -- the only people who don't fear rejection are sociopaths. That's why Flirt Planet exists: Maybe the execution is where things take a turn for the WTF.

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    That's right, you practice flirting by trying to seduce computer-generated cartoon girls. When you've virtually porked the computerized women Flirt Planet offers, the app will then recommend you to its partner app, Flirt Planet Meet, which is exactly the same app, except you're now testing your new skills of pressing dialogue buttons with other people who've also become good at pressing dialogue buttons. The idea is that since you've mastered flirting with the computer, then you no doubt know exactly how to get laid with real people, which explains why everyone who's ever played a BioWare game is now a smooth-talking ladies' man.

    Not to worry, the Wingman app is here to save the day! What does it do? Exactly what you're thinking. Also, don't dwell too long on the idea that the other people who sign up for this app are probably just as skeevy as you. Meanwhile, the rest of us can look forward to a future where every flight includes a minute wait for the toilet. Not because it's all about anonymous hookups, but because it erases the evidence.

    Hey, why can't I vote on comments?

    Pure Along with any remaining sense of pride if you get rejected. You fill in your profile and upload your photos, and instead of leaving it there waiting for someone to bite, you have only an hour to search around and look for someone to hook up with. After the hour -- whether you were successful in your lascivious endeavor or not -- your profile is completely wiped off the mapunviewable to anyone except the NSA, of course.

    It's the ultimate in efficiency: It's almost as if we let the STDs write the app themselves.

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    The third part of XJ's epic science-fiction novel is out now on Amazon. Always on the go but can't get enough of Cracked? We have an Android app and iOS reader for you to pick from so you never miss another article. Do you have a pop culture muse? These days, finding an anonymous sex partner is just a matter of installing Grindr or Tinder on your phone.

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